epicrapbattlesofhistoryfandomcom-20200222-history
User blog:ThyNotShallRap/Andrew Jackson vs Richard the Lionheart. ERBoW Episode 3
Good news, bitch warriors! Epic Rap Battles of Warriors has returned after a 1 week hiatus! Bad news, bitch warriors. ERBoW will go on another hiatus due to Thy being a bad nerd bitch and taking a coding class. In between the breaks, we present you this masterpiece! The parts of Andrew Jackson came directly from the keyboard of GravityMan! Check out the amazing series he just started, Mythical Rap Battles of Historical Shit! - Here Now for the battle! Cast: Physical cast; Lloyd as Richard, Peter as Jackson, Flare as Richard's men, Jackson's men, and their wives. Beat: here Epic Rap Battles of Warriors! Richard the Lionheart! versus! Andrew Jackson! Begin! Lionheart: I've got the might of a lion, but not quite the heart Because I'll diss you and your problems, straight from the start, This old man will never cross me, I'm just too smart You're a failure, Andy, just take a look at these charts. My rhymes will put you in an endless Trail of Tears You'll be in a ward, lonely like your final years! But you can call me King, Richard Lionheart the First! And you'll go down in history as possibly the worst... President that has ever lived, All the hated things you ever did. You'd take one of your soldier's lives, Just if he insults your fatass wife?! Though you may have been succesful in New Orleans, Democracy's one word, you forget what it means! I'm the greatest figure of the past, a Revolution So, here's a notepad and the constitution. So you can record your problems, take the big picture, My legacy's alive man, call me Little Richard. Jackson: I should’ve known you were going to revolt against your daddy, A caddy goes through more holier land than you, paddy! Fuck your flimsy paper raps, I’m delivering gold, and oh, A side note, I had bigger balls than you when I was fourteen years old! My flow will forcibly baptize you, like your precious Jews, I’ll crash you like the banks, time to pay your dues! This battle’s Jerusalem to you, you’re never gonna take it! You couldn’t be with Phillip, that’s why you ended up raping! You’re shaking! Anyone who attacks I thrash with the cane I rap! You could’ve saved half your men if you didn’t have a bitch in your lap! I stayed true to my wife, even after she departed to God! I’ll wreck this Ivanhoe hard like my name’s Walter Scott! I spit a genocide, killing more than the mic has ever seen before! I’ll rip out your yellow heart and rap it under the floor! I floored Florida and get the MCs moving like the Cherokee! You wanna surrender now? Just give my ass the kiss of peace! Lionheart: Your rhymes are as boring as 1812, And it's a real shocker you didn't end up in hell. You're the only president that's more test-y than Lincoln, But you can call me "Count of 'Anything'-Kingdom" You represent a jackass, I represent a lion! And you make up dumb lies that nobody is buying. I'll sneak up and shock ya like I'm your Tariff Act, You pissed off Slave bags, and that's just a fact. Jackson: I was hit by a bullet but I kept on firing back, strong and then, Bastards be dead and gone buried in the front lawn of Jackson! Cartoons and movies may have misportrayed you as the good guy But they at least got the fact that you’re Robin Hood’s bitch right! I’m dropping steaming flows like the oil Saladin drops from his parapets! How could you get bounced by an Oriental who I can walk over like his carpets? I won my battles face to face while you were sitting safely in your saddle, I’m cutting more beef than your tax on cattle! Lionheart: Now, when this battle's over, don't go crying to your mommy You're just the 1800's version of Mitt Fucking Romney! You still can't match up to me, have you forgotten? You're nickname's "Old Hickory," which is why you're so rotten. Jackson: I can’t believe you just set out on a Third Crusade! Didn’t your first two ventures prove to be mistake? Little John and King Dick? That sounds like a gay porno flick! My words go harder up your ass than King Phillip did! WON DECIDE? Q 26! CEWFTC? LLAMA! WHO WON? Richard the Lionheart Andrew Jackson Category:Blog posts